Watching
by KiraSakura
Summary: Always watching, never touching. Always seeing, never saying. [I want to be able to hold you...] Black wings protecting him from the dangers of the world [Keeping out the bad, letting in the good...] [DarkDai]


Disclaimer: I don't own DN Angel. Yukiru Sugisaki does.

Warnings: Shounen-ai

Author's Note: Ok. Yes, I'm working on the new chapter for Journey of Light. But I was listening to Sanctuary from Kingdom Hearts II, and I was inspired. But whatever. Start expecting many a update soon, because dad'll be gone soon. XD And I got a A- for Maths! So I can write! HA!

OXOXOXOXOXO

I was always watching you. Watching you from a distance. I know everything about you, because I watched you. Every day, every year, every hour, every minute, every second. I was watching you. I would watch as you played with your little friends, envious of them, because they could touch you, hold you…I wanted that so badly. Even though you were five. At five years old, you learned what it was like to be hurt. When those boys rushed up to you and stole your favourite toy. A small, red truck, with a ladder, and doors that could open. You ran after them, crying and yelling and trying to get it back. But you couldn't. I wanted to help you, and I guess I did. Because for a few seconds, I was you and not you. I was one with your mind, not separate. I - we - raced at those boys, and we took them down. They fell, and cried and screamed and told us that we were stupid. And we - I - said, "And you're both moronic imbeciles who like to steal from us!". And then it was you again, and I was back in this black void that I live in. My black void. Where I am condemned to live, to hide away, to wait until your son grows. Where I am hidden from the world. Where only your thoughts, your words, can comfort me. I want, so badly, so desperately, to be able to escape here forever, to be able to hold you, to be able to _touch_, to _feel_, to be able to be seen with you. But I can't.

When you were eight, you had a test. I had watched you study for it. You studied so hard. But for the wrong test. And when the teacher gave you the sheet, and you saw that you had no idea what was going on, you were about to cry. So I stepped in.

'_**The answer to question 3 is 15'**_

You started, and looked around, trying to figure out who had told you. You bright, red eyes, looking for me. And it had _hurt_. But I ignored the pain gnawing at my heart, and told you, again, _**'Just hurry and answer the question, Dai. 15. And then for question 4…'**_

'_Who are you?'_

That question caught me off-guard. Who was I? I was…well, I was Phantom Thief Dark. Everyone knew who I was…but you. And you weren't supposed to know who I was, not yet. But…

'_**I'm…your guardian angel, Dai. I've been watching you for a long time. Now, come on. Time to finish that test!' **_I wasn't lying. I had wings, and angels have wings, don't they?

You got a A+, I remember. You were so happy. You rushed home, and told your grandfather that your guardian angel had helped you. And he asked what my name was. Even though he knew. And you said, proudly, with this huge smile on your face, "He didn't tell me his name. But I'm gonna call him Dark"

Then you were ten. A decade old. You were ecstatic. You were finally a big boy. You sat in your room, giggling like crazy, waiting for the sun to rise so you could rush down stairs and tear into your presents. You hadn't spoken to me for two years, and I thought you had forgotten about me. Me, who sat here, watching you. Always watching and never touching. But it was alright. As long as you smiled, I could smile too.

"Come on Daisuke! Time to open your gifts!" Your mother called, and you were down the stairs and in the living room in two seconds. You tore through the brightly coloured boxes. There was a Game Boy, and a CD player. Action figures, and movies. Video games, shoes, clothes, anything a ten year old could want. But you stopped, and turning to your mother asked, "Where's the present from Dark?"

Emiko was shocked, as was I. You had remembered me. And Emiko smiled, and said, "Who's Dark, honey?"

Your red eyes, so large, and oval, and perfect, quivered, and your replied, "Dark's Dark! He's my guardian angel! He makes sure I do well at school, and that no one hurts me. He doesn't say much, but I know he's there. He's always watching, but he wants to be able to touch. But he can't touch, because he's stuck inside me! And sometimes I feel like I'm me, and not me. And I know it's really us! Because we both exist together. And even though he can't touch me, and I can't touch him, I feel like he's always holding me, and his big, pretty black wings are around me, protecting me. Keeping out the bad things in the world, and letting in the good things. He looks after me, and he knows sooo much! And sometimes I hear him. He says things like, 'I want to get out' and 'I want to be able to live'. And a few days ago I felt him go, like, he wasn't there, and I thought maybe he got out somehow and got me a present!"

Emiko looked at you funny, and whispered, "He's never done that before…"

But you just smiled, and hugged her, and your grandfather, and grabbed your new stuff, and ran out the door to tell Takeshi about your new toys.

And then you were fourteen. You had forgotten about me, and I had stayed watching you. Always watching you. Keeping out the bad things in the world, and letting in the good. But…I couldn't stop her rejecting you. I was so angry with her. How _dare_ she hurt you? And…I was jealous. So jealous of her, and her twin. Because they would be receiving your affection…and never me. I was a curse, a troublesome thing, an annoyance. I was taking over your life, I was dashing around, stealing, taking, doing what I did best. Taking. And…sometimes I'd watch. But you knew I was watching. And you hated me for it. And truth be told…I hated myself for it. I hated everything about me. I hated the way I would have to make you hate me, and I hated the way I was better than you. But…you never really stopped to think. It never occurred to you that you, you had everything. Because you had freedom. You could be free…and I would never be able to fall asleep, and wake in a real body. No. I'd never know that pleasure. And you took it for granted. But no matter. I was used to being hated.

But…now.

"My Guardian Angel, by me, Daisuke Niwa"

You had an English assignment. About you, and the person you loved most. So why…?

"My guardian angel. His name was - is - Dark. He looks after me, even now, when I say I hate him. But I don't hate him. No, not really. He always looks after me, making sure the bad things of the world are kept away from me, and the good things are pulled close. He makes sure that I get good grades, and that I am kept from harm"

Satoshi raised an eyebrow from his seat, and sent you a questioning look. You just grin in return, and continue.

"He has these big, black wings, that he wraps around me. And he says he wants to get out. To stop watching, and start touching. He lives in this tiny, cramped corner of my mind. He's not imaginary, and he's not real, either. He's…just Dark. He's the person I love most in the world"

Then there's a bright light, it's surrounded me, and it's pulling me, and…

"He's my sanctuary, my protector, my knight in black armour'"

…and now I can see you, and I reach out, and yell, "Daisuke!"

And you catch my hand. And suddenly I'm _touching_, and not _watching_. And suddenly I'm standing there, in the middle of your classroom, my big black wings wrapped around you, tears falling down my face, and suddenly our lips are caught against each other, and I can't pull away. My hands are everywhere, and so are yours. There are gasps, and cries, and Satoshi, he, he starts to laugh, and yells, "Screw it! I'll leave you two alone!"

But I'm not listening. I'm not watching. No, I'm saying.

"I love you, Dai"

"I love you too, Dark"

And then I'm touching.


End file.
